Radiotherapy

Radiotherapy

Afer the chemo was all done it was time to move onto the radiotherapy. I was to have 5 weeks of daily treatment. This had to be carried out in Southampton Hospital not Jersey. 

First though you have to go over for a day trip (not like the day trips I remember)!! Before radiotherapy can start you have to be measured to the machine and be tattood. Yes tattood,  so each day they can set you up to the machine correctly and the radiotherapy is hitting the right spot. 

Jan my bestie and I go off for our day trip a couple of weeks before im due to start. We arrive at oncology straight from the airport, check in and sit and wait. First up we are taken to a side room and im asked lots of questions. Then explained to what its all about, what will happen and asked if I have any concerns. 

Then its to see Dr Hamilton, who saw me all through chemo in Jersey. He is based at Southampton Hospital but flies to Jersey every couple of weeks. He also talked me through the process and made sure I understood what happens, how it happens and why. 

Then onto the tattoo. Its literally a black dot in the middle of my chest and either side under each armpit. You can only see them if you study me looking for them. Some people were refusing to have the tatoos. As I say, you can't even see them so i'm not sure why you wouldn't. 

So with everything all done and dusted their was a little time to get to Primark before heading back to the Airport. Got to make the most of it havn't you.

5 weeks (including my birthday)

Well that Monday  February date came around and Jan and I sat at the Airport at stupid early o clock to catch our flight to Southampton. 

We started off with coffee and cake at the airport, as you do. Once in Southampton we check into The Jury's Inn Hotel. This is where all the Channel Islands and Isle of Man Cancer patients are placed whilst having radiotherapy in Southampton. (Now they have new self catering apartments). We have the middle floor of the hotel with our own little lounge area with a microwave and kettle. Anyone could stay with us in our hotel room for free but just pay for meals. We all had a special menu for us to choose from daily. 

We also had people coming into the hotel which would give massage's for free. I'm not one to have a massage so I didn't but what a lovely idea. The food was fantastic and staff so lovely.

The hospital had a patient minibus that would pick up hourly from The Jury's Inn to transport patients and family/friends to the hospital and back. I had asked for all my treatment to be first thing daily so I could go off and do other stuff.

I was told I would feel extremely tired and burnt from the radiotherapy so I wasn't looking forward to that. 

Looking at the list in the hotel reception my appointment was in the next hour so we unpacked and went to reception awaiting the next minibus. Minutes late it arrived and we were all ticked off as we got on. 

Everyone looked so poorly. They had head scarfs on, really pale complexions, no eyebrows/eyelashes. We sat in silence. I was thinking I had 5 weeks of doing this. 

We arrived at the hospital within 15 minutes. As we checked into the reception I am handed a paper with a scanner mark on it which apparently has all my details in it. This was all I needed to check myself in daily to receive my radiation. Ha how cool is that I thought. 

Down the corridoor to the radiation waiting area. I scan myself in, up pops the room number I am down for and we sit and wait. Within 5 minutes I'm being called. I couldn't believe how quick that was. I was given a gown and then taken into the radioactive room. Placed onto the machine, arms up behind my head. They carried out all the measurments making sure I was in place and left the room. The lights are dimmed, music played and for 6 minutes thst was me whilst this huge machine moved around me doing its work.

You don't feel a thing, absolutely nothing. The machine stops and the nurses re-appear. That's it. They take me off the machine and off I go to get dressed to leave until tomorrow. That was it, so quick, so easy. I was really suprised, I had no idea what to expect but I suppose that just felt to easy to me.

With that done for the day we waited for the minibus back to The Jury's Inn. Once back we had a walk into town which is just through the park the other side the road to the hotel. 

We found a gym up the top of town so I joined for the time I was there. It was 24/7 so brilliant as I'm not the best sleeper so meant I could go anytime.

Well this was my life for the next 5 weeks. Even on my birthday April 7th I had to have the radiotherapy. However, I did get to fly home to Jersey  every Friday afternoon to spend the weekend with my boys. Then back aain first flight out each Monday morning. Most patients stayed in Southampton as the  radiotherapy made them extremely tired. Not me, it was strange I was absolutely fine, I did not burn and I wasn't anymore tired than the normal. 

But to be honest I didn't even think about it. I kept bust the whole time I was there. I did my fair share of shopping . Southampton is brilliant for shopping, the Primark is fantastic. Every week I ended up flying home with stuff for the boys I had brought. 

I was lucky to have amazing friends, some of whom came down to spend a few days with me . It's times like this in your life when you truly realise who is there for you. The true friends. I am so very grateful for my amazing friends. I know I couldn't have done this without them. 

As I said I didn't feel any burning or anything like that at all to my skin (maybe because i've always been such a sun wordshiper ! I just don't know why) I felt sorry for the other ladies that were really finding it hard. They couldn't sleep as their skin was painful yet they were so so tired. It's so hard to watch how this can affect some people. I felt like I was getting off light if that makes sense? How come I was fine ? I had no side effects whatsoever ! Don't get me wrong I was glad, but it still made me feel bad for the other ladies. 

This will make you laugh. One of the days I was out waiting at the front of the hotel waiting for the patient minibus with the others who had early morning appointments when the bus turned up it was a different driver to all  the other days. I waited for everyone else to get on then stepped forward for the driver to lok at me hold his hand out to stop me from getting on. Shocked I stared at him only for him to say "sorry this minibus is for patients only" I was taken aback but replied with "I am a patient" followed by my name so he could check the list. He apologised and let me onto the minibus. 

This just goes to show, I did a great job with my wig, hat, false eyelashes and a little makeup. I wasn't screaming cancer but I looked "normal" . I choose to look like I did, without the headscarf, pale face, lack of eyebrows and eyelashes like the other patients. I'm not saying anything is wrong with that, far be it. But I didn't want anyone who didn't know me to look at me and instantly think "oh she has cancer" it was just me, my way. My coping mechanism I suppose. I wanted people to act normal around me, not with that sadness and pity that people automatically seem to instantly feel for you. I was Sooz, the same Sooz I had always been. So I wanted to be treated the same.

I don't mean to make anyone reading this feel bad about themselves if they have/are going through radiotherapy and wear a headscarf without eyelashes/eyebrows. We all have our own way of dealing with things and this was just my way. I'm a very independent person, always have been and always will be. I just could'nt stand the thought of people looking at me feeling sorry for me. I did not want that.

Their was a lot of time spent on my own during the radiotherapy and your feelings and emotions go through a roller coaster. Up and down. I only wish I had started to write a blog then as it would have filled my days and made me feel useful to people. You do think though, what the hell happened. Your always scheduled for appointments constantly, the hospital becomes your 2nd home. Always going to different follow ups with oncology or the surgeon. So whilst in Southampton, even though your at hospital daily its only for the short time of being blasted then the day is yours. I'm so use to always being on the go it was super hard for me to basically do nothing. Even through chemo I still worked, yep, I had chemo in the morning and then my black nails  renewed across the road with Ania then off to work I went. I carried on my normal routine around my hospital appointments.

I was really glad when I got to the final day. I remember packing my suitcases to fly home. Breakfast, then off on the minibus I went. I had brought all the nuses some chocolates as a thank you, they are all so lovely and make the whole experience a better one with their happy and jolly personalities. It does help, thank you to all of them. I got zapped and off I went back to the hotel, whooooooooo yeah. 

I remember my taxi being late, I was panicing thinking I was going to miuss my flight ! three phonecalls later the taxi finally arrived. Talk about stressing me out. I finally arrived at the hospital with minutes to spare getting through security. All I can say is that driver was so lucky I made it. I actually think I would have throttled him had I of not made it. 

I arrived back into Jersey with the sun shining, a beautiful day so pleased that part of this journey was over. Back with my boys.