Operation No. 2......

Lymph nodes out

Well after my phone call to go in to the breast clinic as the results had come back from the mastectomy. I was originally told my breast cancer was grade 1 and with that although I had to have the mastectomy due to the two lumps being so far apart it was impossible to do two lumpectomys, I wouldn’t need chemotherapy or radiotherapy .

Well, that went out the window !! The results from dissection of the  left breast taken showed it was in fact grade 3 aggressive. Not two lumps but one 5cm mass and it had spread to my lymph nodes. With this I was told I was straight back in for surgery the next day to remove the lymph nodes, the silicone implant and port. As it now meant I would need to have the most aggressive chemo and radiotherapy. The silicone would be severely damaged if left in the chest whilst undergoing chemo and the radiotherapy.

What a bloody shock that was. It felt like being diagnosed all over again. I had to get home organise the children, the dogs and my business. I had no idea how long I would be in hospital again and within two weeks of the mastectomy. I’m absolutely terrible with anaesthetic as well. I take hours to come around in recovery, my blood pressure drops extremely low and my breathing is very shallow. I needed to remain on oxygen and wrapped in a heated foil blanket last time.

Back to Rayner ward I go the following morning 8am. Once checked in, several forms later and lots of checks it the time for my surgeon Dr Stephenson to do his lovely black marker drawings over my body so they get the right area !! 

I hadn’t really had much time from the day before to think about what was happening the emotions are you just go with the flow. You know its life threatening and they are doing what they need to do right ? 

More checks, blood pressure, urine sample, temperature and of course the all important  anesthetist checks all done and signed on the dotted line.  

Wasn’t long before I was told I was next in theatre. With slippers on, pillow in hand off we go again (des ja vue) kinda springs to mind. The nurse walks me down to theatre. I’m shown my bed (trolly) my anesthetist attaches me to all sorts of machines, attaches the magic sleeping drug to my right hand and I remember he asked me about my dogs but I honestly don’t think I actually got around to answering . But that wasn’t my fault, he put me to sleep !! 

The operation was around 8 hours this time and you got it, I took forever to wake up again in recovery. Here we go again ! 

When I did awake the following day I was completely flat on the left side. Wow well that was a shock. It looks really strange. I felt so unfeminine. Like a freak. Even though you know what’s going to happen nothing can prepare you for that initial first time you see yourself. You go through all the thoughts in your head. Why me? What did I do wrong? Was it to much chocolate? Will anyone ever want me now? And so many more. Yes don’t get me wrong I was so glad to still be alive and very thankful, but, its so hard to explain, so many emotions flow through your body. 

I was lucky enough to have so many visitors. A constant flow. Even my auntie Dawn and cousin Nicky flew over from UK for a few days to come and see me. I was so lucky. We use to have such good fun, the nurses use to love being on duty and joined in our little party. I remember all we did was laugh and smile and I can tell you now, that’s the best medicine you can get. 

My daily visitors kept me going for the five days I had to stay in hospital. When my drains came out I was able to go home and just have daily visits to the breast clinic for my dressings changed. I was suppose to be on bed rest. No lifting, hoovering, dog walking etc. Nothing at all. I was allowed to pick up a pint of milk that was it. Yeah right like that was going to happen. I was on my own with three boys and St Bernards at home of course I wasn’t going to be on bed rest . 

I am extremely lucky that I have the most amazing best friend of 30 years, Jan. Jan left her hubby at home to fend for himself once again and moved in with me to help . She is incredible. A true friend. Jan would work during the day then go home to hers to cook for her hubby and us. Then arrive at my house with our dinner all plated up. Told you she is incredible did’t I. She would not allow me to do anything, then to make sure I was resting  we would have to go to bed around 9.30pm . We would end up chatting and giggling at Celebrity Juice before drifting off to sleep . She would help me dress in the morning before she went off to work and check on me during the day. I am so very lucky. 

My other friends were also brilliant. Caroline would collect my shopping list and get my groceries in for me, then whilst in hospital would come and check on the dogs making sure they were ok during the day. Kat (Kyles godmother) would help with the boys, mostly Kyle to make sure they were all ok and had everything they needed. Kyle would go and stay with Kat at hers. I have such a fabulous bunch of friends, they are all the best and make me smile, thank you for caring so much. 

On the daily hospital visits my wound is re dressed and checked. My next stage was with oncology and talk about the chemo. After three weeks of dressing changes I was told oncology would contact me to go in to have an initial meeting where they would go thorough the process with me. 

Caroline with Gizmo

Caroline with naughty Gizmo he pinched all the sausages

After five weeks of nothing whatsoever my best friends from UK Jane and Claud were over for the weekend to see me. I had physio the Friday morning, all three of went (were family - we spent 15 weeks living together at Police Training College) once finished Jane decided we were going up to oncology to find out what was going on.

I explained at the reception I was due to start chemotherapy but had not heard from anyone about my initial appointment nor any starting date. This visit was after making several phone calls to the department and each time told I would receive a phone call back. I never did. Basically Jane told the receptionist we was not going anywhere until we had an appointment. 

Well it worked because after waiting approximately ten minutes I was handed an appointment date to go in for my initial meeting which takes you through the whole process, your shown around oncology and any fears and questions are answered. So with all of us happy it was a night out on the town.